7 Things To Consider When Having Another Baby
It starts almost as soon as your first baby is born: “Are you thinking about having another baby?” For some, the questions about whether or not you plan on adding to your brood can come as early as you announce your first pregnancy.
For me, I started thinking about having a second baby when my first turned a year old. All of a sudden, my baby seemed so grown up. She was walking, on her way to talking, eating grown up food and sleeping pretty well. Of course I look back on the pictures from her first birthday and wonder just what I was thinking. She looked like such a baby! I blame it all on post-pregnancy memory loss and sleep deprivation.
My children ended up being 28 months apart, which seems to be working out pretty well. So far. I have a lot of friends who are contemplating trying for baby #2 and they all seem to have the same questions and fears. Well, I’m here to tell you that is completely normal to question whether or not you are ready for baby #2, or even if you want a second child at all.
If you think you are ready for baby #2, here are 7 things to consider:
Many of my friends were blessed with an incredibly easy first child. Unfortunately this tricked them into having a second baby right away. As as you might have guessed, their second child turned out to be the devil reincarnate. It goes the opposite way too, so just remember that your second child will probably be nothing like your first. Which can be good or bad, depending on the situation.
You are going to feel a little (or a lot) guilty about having a second baby. Some of this is for good reason: Once you have a second child, you will never be able give your first child the one-on-one attention they are used to receiving right now. But guess what? That’s totally ok! Having a second child teaches the first a lot about life, including the fact that the world doesn’t revolve around them. Introducing another baby into the mix will give your first a chance to bond up with your partner or another caregiver, which will only widen their circle of trust. Savor the alone time you have with your first as long as you can because it will never be like this again. Just remember: Seeing the intense sibling bond between your two children is worth the guilt you may be feeling now.
I remember obsessing about the logistics of having two children. Will they share a room? Will they nap at the same time? How will I bathe both of them? What if they are both crying at the same time? These are totally normal questions. The thing is, you have no idea how exactly it’s all going to play out. Just know that it will work itself out in the end. My youngest ended up sleeping in the dining room for two years, sometimes they napped at the same time and sometimes they didn’t, and sometimes they are both crying and I can only soothe one at a time. You just gotta roll with the punches.
Having a second baby can be totally terrifying. Mostly because you know what you are getting yourself into. The first time around, the idea of having a baby was kind of exotic and maybe a touch romantic. Now that you are a seasoned pro you know just what goes into being responsible for another person. It’s ok to be scared, I know I was.
If you feel pressed for time now, just wait. It’s my professional opinion that each child adds an hour to your getting ready routine. Rather than fight it, just accept the situation and plan accordingly. Oh, and here’s a word of advice: Don’t even think about straightening up before you head out the door. Learn to live with the mess. Otherwise you will never leave the house.
You will be tired. There isn’t really much more I can say about that, except you can sleep when you are dead.
Finding a sitter for one child can be a challenge and it’s twice as hard when you add another kid to the mix. You will probably need to stick to short dates nights for a while and overnights are probably something you can look forward to when your children graduate from high school. Sorry, but that’s the breaks.
So, what do you think: Are you ready for baby #2?Â
Morgan is a blogger and freelance writer living in Southern California with her two daughters and flock of backyard chickens. She is also the Associate Editor for mint.com and the Quicken blog. Her work has been featured on WSJ.com, Slate.com, The Huffington Post, and San Diego Home and Garden Magazine. In her spare time she enjoys fake shopping online, writing love letters to Ryan Gosling, and avoiding folding laundry.