7 Things to Say to a Stay-at-Home Mom

Mother playing with son at playground

I’ve been reading posts about what not to say to moms staying at home with their children. Whether by choice or need (or in my case, not planned, but at home nonetheless), some SAHMs are fairly sensitive about how they are perceived as parents.

They have it so easy. They can go to the gym and visit with friends. They must have no stress at all.

Bollocks. Easy, it’s not. The last time I saw a gym was to cancel my membership and I’m on anxiety meds. I’m a walking zombie of stress. Ever seen a stressed-out zombie? They are hanging at the mall playgrounds with a Starbucks cup and wearing pajama pants. Instead of screaming for brains, they just want their kids to stop stealing all the other kids’ shoes.

You may know a SAHM. You may meet one for the first time tomorrow. If so, you should choose your words wisely. Instead of telling you what not to say, I’m going to give you suggestions on what you should say.

1: The kids are so lucky to have you around. Working or not, your kids are blessed to have you spending time with them. This comment may not be a huge compliment to others, but to me, it felt good to hear. When I was at work, I wanted to be home with my kids, sometimes but not always. Now that I am with them every day, I feel like the lucky one and I believe my kids benefit from my presence although a break from them once in a while helps the sanity.

2: I know some days are hard, but you get to see them reach milestones. You can’t put a price on that. You can’t put a price on that. It broke my heart to hear from the sitter that my first born flipped over on his tummy, walked, and spoke his first words. (Not all in the same day… he’s not a super-human baby!) With my second, I was home and saw her first walk and learn to talk. Every day I consider myself so very blessed.

3: The exercise you are getting is making you look good, lady! I run after a toddler all day. It’s exhausting. I’m not down to a size 4 like before I got pregnant, but I am more active than I would be than if I was at work. The playground and park visits have made me act like a kid and helped me burn off the stress I felt from things like this morning’s juice spill.

4: The advantages you can provide them prior to school will benefit them greatly. I like to think that all SAHM have it in them to advance their kid’s education. Simple things like reading to them, building blocks and arts and crafts are all ways to help them get a head start. With that said, those things are no different from a working parent as well. It’s all about the time you spend.

5: I’d love to visit with you and hang out with the kids or I could give you a break to go get a coffee/ shower/ run errands alone. Seriously, an hour out of your day to help me get things done without a kid interruption is HUGE!! You take a kid to the DMV one day and see how you manage. This one is such a big deal.

6: You are such an amazing, hard-working mother. You deserve a huge pat on the back. Again, this doesn’t just apply to SAHM. ALL moms deserve to hear this praise.

7: Did you want some chocolate? Or some wine? Yes, we really, really would.