7 Things You Don’t Have to Do Because You’re Pregnant

There are lots of things you don’t GET to do while you’re pregnant (drink your body weight in margaritas, go skydiving), but since I try to be a glass-half-full person, I thought I’d take some time out today (as I rub my belly and try not to think of sushi) to celebrate some things I don’t HAVE to do because I’m pregnant.

Join me, will you? In honor of having only 7 more weeks until my due date, here are my top 7 don’t-have-tos.

I don’t have to:

  • Clean the cats’ litter box. Can I get a hallelujah for 9 full months of this being anyone’s job but mine? The luxury of such privilege is enough to make me consider having a third child.
  • Do the laundry. I can’t remember the last time I did a load all by myself, since I can’t carry a laundry basket AND my giant belly down our narrow basement steps to the washer and dryer.
  • Eat gross things. Pregnancy food issues aren’t all bad. Your mother-in-law’s casserole looking a little unappealing tonight? (Is it supposed to be… gray?) You don’t have to eat anything you don’t want to eat just to be polite. Blame it on the baby.
  • Perform hard labor. You don’t have to help haul firewood from the front yard to the backyard. You don’t have to climb on the roof to de-clog the rain gutters. You don’t have to repaint the nursery when you realize the shade of green you picked out last week isn’t quiiiiiite right.
  • Assemble gear. Babies seem to require lots of accessories (crib, stroller, swing, bouncy seat, play yard, co-sleeper, high chair…), and those accessories all seem to come in big boxes with lots and lots and lots of little pieces. Sometimes doing this sort of thing is fun; sometimes it’s nice to have an excuse to just sit back and supervise.
  • Watch the news. It’s important to stay up on current events, but sometimes the world is just too depressing and your emotions too raw with pregnancy hormones to take it. Change the channel and watch House Hunters instead.
  • Paint my toenails. There comes a time in every pregnant woman’s life when she simply can’t bend over that far. Treat yourself to a salon pedicure, or pick out a new polish color and hand the bottle over to your partner.

Your turn. What are you getting out of while you’re pregnant?