A Kids Indoor Pool Party, Really?

a mom and her kid sitting in a pool

My kids are invited to an indoor pool party or three a year. Every time I open an Evite for a birthday party held at one of the local indoor pools, I quickly go from excited (yay, a party!) to panicked (how can I get out of this?).

I can’t be alone in my dislike of these things, right? There must be other moms who cringe at putting on a swimsuit and stepping into an underheated pool. Who don’t want to see other pasty parents half naked in the winter months. Who aren’t thrilled at kids splashing and even soaking them in a humid setting (goodbye, semi-smooth hair). Moms who find the process of showering and dressing their kids in public places wayyyyyy too much work for a birthday party.

Kids’ birthday parties are awkward enough for less-than-completely-outgoing parents. Sure, we have our kids in common, but other than that, we don’t necessarily know each other. Must we meet for the first time over a lane divider? Or while attempting to gracefully exit the deep end? Do we have to make small talk in the locker room?

I know there are kids who love swimming (believe it or not, I was once one of them). Of course they’ll request a swim party. And come summer, bring on the outdoor pool party. Anytime kids can be outside, active, and enjoying some Vitamin D is sure to be a good time. In that case the effort and awkwardness is outruled by the sheer fun of swimming on a hot day. Give me a sun-drenched pool deck and I will reply an immediate yes to that invite.

But if your kid has a winter birthday, and you don’t live in Hawaii, why torture your fellow parents by throwing a pool party? A recent invite acknowledged this pain. “One adult per five kids, so anyone inclined to get into their swimming suits soon after the holidays…you are welcome ;).”

For those of you planning a kid’s birthday party in the coming months, please consider your fellow parents and pass on the pool party. If the kids aren’t old enough to be in the pool alone, you’re basically requiring the parents get involved in a way they’d really, really rather not.

Thank you from indoor pool party-loathing parents everywhere (I know you are out there).