A Lotion No One Wants To Wear

Mother looking at her sleeping baby head to head in a hospital bed

I warn you. This story is filled with the…em…joys of parenting. In particular, the poop of parenting.

It started out like any other planned nap time. I am potty training my baby girl right now so she is usually naked or only in a diaper. I had just placed her on the potty (she didn’t go) and put her in a diaper as I prepared to put her in the crib within 15 minutes. I’m well aware that within five minutes she could go. Yup, she could.

I set the boy up with the iPad, which is part of our routine to get him school-ready. He gets iPad time to work with his letters then he does paper and pencil work for about 20 minutes. This is all during the time baby girl goes down for nap time, so, you now know, I was briefly occupied.

Baby girl had wandered into my bedroom. (Her new favorite game is hiding, which I hate for obvious reasons. Her other favorite game is to put on whatever lotion, moisturizer, or hand lotion I am using.) I picked her up from the bathroom door and noticed it was dirty near the handle. I automatically assumed it was the boy not washing his hands well so I grabbed a baby wipe and wiped the stain. Then I picked up baby girl and headed toward her bedroom.

I had my phone at ready to play her music and I cuddled a blanket around her. I snuggled up to her head and that’s when the scent hit me.

“She pooped?” I said to myself. No way. “Did you poop little girl?”

She smiled and I moved her to the carpet where I ripped the side of her diaper and looked inside. Nothing. She kept smiling.

Thinking she just had the “linger” smell, I went back to cuddling and getting her settled. She yawned as Irubbed my face against hers. That smell was still there and it was strong. I decided to investigate further.

I turned on the room’s light and placed her down again. This time I removed her diaper completely. Then I saw it…

She had brown streaks on her head, face, and shoulder. On her hands was light brown and brown under her nails. She had developed a bad habit of touching her bottom sans diaper during training. Apparently, I got her after she had been using her own “special material” as lotion while she was hiding.

I ran to the bathroom and started the bath. My daughter giggled, I figured out her little secret.

Once in the bathtub, I checked myself in the mirror. The side of my face looked like I had applied bronzer. Cuddling with my girl, as I always do, had given me a sh**face.


Now that word will have a different meaning for the rest of my days.

Have you had special moment with your potty training child?