Bodily Fluids Are Part of the Mom Package

A 3 month old newborn baby girl is looking down at the camera as her father lifts her over his head while playing at home.

I’m a finicky person. As a kid, it would take me hours to complete my one major chore of clearing the dinner table because I refused to touch food that someone else half eaten. I would hold one plate under scalding water and wait for the food to slide off. I can remember one evening when my dad forced me to put my hands on the food and push it off with the sponge — I almost threw up right there in the sink.

When my husband and I adopted our dog a few months after getting married, I had a panic attack every time I had to clean up his accidents. I couldn’t stand the thought of actually TOUCHING (even through a paper towel) pee or poop. The thought literally sent shivers down my spine.

This continued through my pregnancy, and my husband, being the loving, amazing person that he is, even cleaned up my morning sickness “mess” when I didn’t quite make it to the toilet.

But, then I had a baby. And there’s no such thing as an easily grossed out mom. Bodily fluids come with the territory.

I have been peed on. I have found poop on my hands an hour after changing her. She has projectile vomited into my face, and all over my arms. I wipe excess baby food onto my yoga pants if I’m out of reach of napkins while we’re in the middle of lunchtime.

Not only that, but I have actually said the words, “Let me smell her butt,” too many times to count. Before having a baby, I could never imagine a world where I uttered that phrase, but when dealing with an 11-month-old, it’s not even news. As a matter of fact, it’s a daily occurence. Or, if my nose is having a hard time deciding, I will even stick a finger or two inside to feel for moisture.

I do this willingly, too, which is just unbelievable. I held a grudge against my dad for forcing me to touch food, and I wanted to give away my dog when he left a puddle on the floor, but with baby girl? I smile at her as my nose is on its way to her little bum. I laugh when she pees on me as I’m about to put her in the bath. Just a shake of the head, and then I leave her with her dad while I go change my shirt. No big deal, no fuss, nothing.

Somehow, the birthing process changes everything. When they laid her on my chest just seconds old, still somewhat slimy, a switch flicked. Her pee and poop is a joy and a privilege to have in my life, and I will gladly clean up any future vomiting accidents she might have (as I have been told I was a horrible sick kid, and NEVER made it to the toilet, I assume karma is coming).

I made the switch from fussy tween, teen, and young adult, to nonchalant mom. Nothing phases me. Clothes and skin wash, I can testify to that now. It’s amazing how much becoming a mom changes you.

How have you adjusted to the influx of bodily fluids in your mom life?