Creepy Things Kids Say That Will Make You LOL

The creepy things kids say might have you laughing out loud - or locking yourself in a safe room.

You haven’t lived until you’ve woken up in the middle of the night, turned your head to the side and found your child standing there, six inches from your face, staring at you menacingly like that girl from “The Ring.”

Boy stares blankly at cameraUm honey? It’s 3 a.m. Shouldn’t you be sleeping rather than plotting my demise?

Kids can be creepy, there’s no denying that. Case in point: Last week, me and my two children were sitting in the kitchen enjoying pancakes for dinner. Suddenly, my three-year-old son looked under the table and started mumbling something. My one-year-old was in her highchair, busy slathering herself in mushed blueberries and maple syrup, so I knew he wasn’t speaking to her.

Me: Honey, what are you doing?

Him: Talking to my friend.

Me: What friend?

Him: He’s sitting on the floor right there.

Say what now? I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I sat in stunned silence for a bit, then told Alexa to add sage to my shopping list.

Whether they’re predicting your death or alerting you to otherworldly roommates, children do and say things that may leave you scratching your head, giggling nervously, locking yourself in a safe room or some combination of the three.

After I shared my story with some local moms, some of them had spooky stories of their own:

“I was in the basement of my new house doing laundry. My two-year-old daughter looked into the corner and said, ‘He’s coming.’ I asked, ‘Who’s coming?’ and she replied, ‘The scary werewolf man in the corner.’

My husband now does the laundry.”

Small girl stares angrily at cameraI wouldn’t go in the basement if I were you, mom.

“When my daughter was little, she used to say a man would come into her room at night and do the sign of the cross on her forehead. We just thought it was typical three-year-old imagination, until a year later, when my mother-in-law brought an old photo album over.

My daughter immediately shouted, ‘That’s the man who comes into my room at night and blesses me!’ It was a photo of her grandfather who had died 10 years before she was even born.”

girl dressed up in a witch costumeNothing to see here, folks, nope – just me and the guy making the sign of the cross on my forehead.

“Once, my daughter asked me to make sure her curtain was closed because ‘sometimes the black ghost stands outside her window.’ Yikes!”

Little girl dressed with cat makeup on for HalloweenCan you read us a story, mom? The black ghost in the window loves “Goodnight Moon.”

“My son kept waking up every night because of ‘a girl named Sally who had spots on her.’ He was about 4 years old at the time and was tired every morning from playing with this girl.

My uncle was a state trooper, so he was able to look into the history of our house. We learned that a girl named Sally had died of smallpox.”

Little boy with open mouth, surprised.My friend Sally is going to sleep over tonight … again.

“When my son was 3 years old, we were at a red light in our neighborhood, stopped next to a big apartment complex. He looked at me and said, ‘100 years ago, when I lived here, that big building wasn’t there. But there was a fun swing on a tree outside my house.’

I have lived in this area my whole life and when I was younger, the apartment complex wasn’t there but there was the house! He still tells me he lived there 100 years ago.”

Boy smiling and looking wistfully into the air.Gee whiz, I sure do miss that tree swing I used to play on 100 years ago!

“When my daughter was a toddler, we lived in a creepy apartment. She would always talk to her friend in the closet – she would talk to it daily. One day I asked her, ‘What is your friend’s name?’ She told me, ‘She doesn’t have a name. I call her old lady in black.’

So yeah, that freaked the poop out of me! I saged the place, but a few nights later, I had a scary nightmare, and when I woke up I saw the scariest person standing in my bedroom doorway.

Let’s just say we moved out immediately.”

Little baby dressed like ghostI wanna be like the old lady in black when I grow up, mkay?

This creeptastic story comes from Parents of Reddit user UnfortunateBirthMark:

“I was tucking in my two-year-old. He said, ‘Good bye dad.’ I said, ‘No, we say good night.’ He said, ‘I know. But this time it’s good bye.’

Had to check on him a few times to make sure he was still there.”

boy with Halloween face makeup on stares into the cameraI see dead people.

Do you have a creepy story to share? We’d love to hear it!