If My Kids Ran the Household
Iâ€™d love to write a NEW screenplay version of Freaky Friday. In a non-Lindsay Lohan remake, It would switch my son with my hubby and my daughter with me.
I think of all the cool things that being two years old again would involveâ€¦
- Being able to pee my pants and not be embarrassed because it wasnâ€™t a result of my two pregnancies
- Required napping
- Cute clothes
- No worries about weight
- Baby toes (Iâ€™d play with them for hours)
- People carry you around
- Everyone thinks your adorable even if you crap yourself
Then thereâ€™s my husband turning five again. Well, heâ€™d be over the moon, if he took the time to enjoy it.
- Get to play outside and run and kick and be active without concern for his bummy knee
- Drawing and coloring
- Playing with Legos and creating
- Eat whatever he wants without worry of weight gain or cholesterol issues
- A bed to himself
Both of us would jump on the opportunity to learn another language since kids under five are sponges and pick up new words and phases so fast.
We would have an amazing timeâ€¦exceptâ€¦
Our kids would now be in charge.
My two-year-old wouldnâ€™t really understand what to do to keep us alive (cooking, feeding, baths, laundry, keeping toys off the floor so we donâ€™t trip and hurt ourselves, drive us to the hospital when we do) but my son, well, he would probably hold his arms out and sayâ€¦MINE! MINE!! ALL MINE!!â€¦not that thereâ€™s much to be excited over. My husband and I are not rich but in a five yearâ€™s old eyes, we have it all.
Iâ€™m thinking a typical day would be like this:
My â€śhusbandâ€ť would go into his office for work and slam on the keyboard to make things work. Since Itâ€™s typically the same thing my real husband does (only he uses his head) I figure the fake â€śhubbyâ€ť could get away with it for a few days.
The other â€śmeâ€ť would get out of bed and go about her day as she normally would. Letâ€™s face itâ€¦sheâ€™s just taller. This does, unfortunately, mean sheâ€™ll have access to scissors and all the hidden candy. So by the end of the day, sheâ€™ll have no hair and be passed out from massive sugar crash.
My real husband will be playing Legos in the office or drawing. Reason being is that heâ€™ll be keeping a close eye on the other â€śhubbyâ€ť as he â€śworksâ€ť In the end, my hubs will have to pick up the pieces of whatever damage my son does to the hubsâ€™ work.
Me? Iâ€™ll be climbing the counter to try and make coffee. Someoneâ€™s got to stay alert for all this chaos.
Kristi Gilbert also known as The Robot Mommy started blogging after successfully getting her son to eat by talking like a robot. She then transformed into said robot and has been writing about her familyâ€™s adventures ever since. Inspired by her infant daughter, imaginative toddler son and supportive husband, she documents life as she knows it: chaotic, coffee soaked and filled with awesomeness.