My Split Pregnancy Personality

We crank out a lot of quizzes here at Mom365, many of them about baby care. So I was excited when one of our star editors created this: What’s Your Pregnancy Personality? I didn’t have to pretend to be a mom to edit it!

The second I read the personality types it was pretty clear which one I’d be—definitely not “Laid Back Lucy.” What with my daily freakouts, concerns about moles, and other, “Is everything alright?” events, I was pretty sure I’d land squarely in the “Worried Wendy” camp. And I did. (You can take the quiz here.)

But it has me wondering, is it even possible to be a Laid Back Lucy about pregnancy any more? I suspect so, but I also suspect that to do so, you need to avoid the barrage of prenatal testing, never Google anything, and avoid the news completely. Oh, and wear a t-shirt that reads: WELL-MEANING MAMAS: I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR YOUR SCARY BIRTH STORY, MMMM K?

Many days, I dream of a world in which my inner Lucy dominates—she would find a way to move to the beach for the rest of my pregnancy, hire a midwife, and order a tub for a home birth. Lucy is strong but flexible—a chilled out, bliss-prone, faith-in-the-Universe yogini. She’s in touch with her gut and has a deep confidence in her body.

Then, enter stage left, my inner Worrying Wendy, who seems to be winning this struggle for now. She pipes in voices like the fearful gynecologist from the fantastic documentary, “The Business of Being Born,” saying, “It only takes a woman a few minutes to bleed out” as an argument against home birth. But then Lucy will add, Statistically, it’s actually probably safer to avoid too much intervention. Lucy yearns to follow her instincts; Wendy thinks we need to cover our bases. Though they come from opposite ends of the fear-love spectrum, they have joined forces in some important ways. They:

–       Hired a kick-ass doula to attend the hospital birth.

–       Hired an excellent pair of OBs who run a low-intervention practice with a crazy-low C-section rate even though many of their patients are older birds like me.

–       Signed up for a yoga-centered childbirth class.

–       Make sure I take all the vitamins shown by the latest science to be beneficial—extra D, DHA, loads of calcium—in addition to the standard prenatals.

–       Get me to prenatal yoga classes, sometimes.

–       Have me chanting a beautiful Sanskrit chant that’s meant to remind the baby of his true nature, always.

–       Have agreed to a drug-free vaginal birth (even though Wendy worries, of course, about the pain).

So that’s good. It’s just when I get in my head, or read too much about the crazy hospital rules and conventions that don’t seem to serve the needs of me and my babe-to-be, Lucy starts loudly dreaming of waterbirths. And is quickly cancelled out by Wendy, worrying.

This might be a microcosm of my life. It is, in fact. Which is an excellent reminder to return to what the yogis call center. To return home to myself. The self that doesn’t have a Wendy or a Lucy, but lives in a place of quiet breathing and deep knowing and calm. A place I’d like to spend more of my pregnancy and my life.

If we had comments here, I’d ask you to tell me if you have similar struggles. Instead, think about it. Who’s “winning” and “losing” inside you and how might you negotiate a truce?