The Cost of Kids: A ‘Dream Life’ or a Big Family?

As parents, we all know having kids means making sacrifices. We cut coupons, we shop sales, and we work two and three jobs to make it all happen. We do what we have to do to give our kids the best life we can. But, what happens when the “best life” we’ve so carefully created starts to look not as perfect as we imagined? What if it makes us question everything we value?

Well, one woman is getting a lot of flack…and I mean a lot of flack…for basically choosing her “dream life” over having a third child. Consider it another chapter in the cost of kids conversation (or the mommy wars, if you look at it another way). Here’s the story…basically this couple saved and saved, lived off canned food for a year, and planned their lives accordingly so that they would be able to afford their luxury dream home by the time they were in their early thirties. Mission accomplished. Now this woman is a stay-at-home mom living in her dream home with two kids, dogs, and a timeshare her and her family vacation at once a year.

While this is all fine and well, she now claims her “uterus aches” for a third child. Here’s the problem… because they live in their dream home, she says they can only afford to have two kids. If they did have a third child she says they would have to get a smaller house, move, and get rid of the timeshare. She would also have to go back to work and they would have to pay for daycare. So, they’re just not going to do that. She says, “This is the American dream and we are in it, living it, every day, just the four of us.”

But, if you’re still yearning for another child, how are you living out your dreams? I think it’s more accurate to say you’ve reached your materialistic goals. Your dreams are still out there waiting for you.

As the saying goes, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” While you may have planned on living a certain way, things change…you change. The way you may have perceived or planned your future while in your twenties is not how you’re living in your thirties and beyond. That’s just life.

I think to deny an honest urge to have another child all in the name of having better things is sad. There are so many people who would give up everything they have just to have one child. But for one reason for another, that’s just not in the cards for them.


I think in this certain situation, this woman could find a way to still live the “American dream” without her luxury home. Houses, vacations, and other things don’t make a life worth living. People, moments and memories do.

You really have to ask yourself what you value more…a larger family or a nicer house with perks? What do you think?