The Mother Adhesive Theory

mom struggling to get work done with toddler nearby

I think I’ve stumbled upon a parenting theory. Something that has baffled moms and dads for years and years.

Why doesn’t your child ever leave you alone?!?

Or

The Mother Adhesive Theory.

My children yup, both of them currently feel they need to be at my side, under my feet or wrapped around my legs at all times. This occurs when I’m cooking, cleaning, relaxing and IN THE FREAKING BATHROOM!

Sometimes they are less obvious yet still effectively playing the I must be in the same room or I need to be on your lap or head or play the mother tucking card.

The theory is that children are required to be near or on top of their parents so to be nurtured through osmosis as well as through “normal” nurturing methods.
Through this parent osmosis transfer, a child soaks up every nook and cranny of their parent’s knowledge, special skills and in my children’s case humor.

My test subjects Velcro 1 and Velcro 2 were more than happy to help me is my hypothesis. Both acted accordingly and made sure to not hold back. It one point I had one in my back while the other keep her head on my feet. Their behavior was both helpful and annoying.

After all experiments were made, both my children were smarter, amazing storytellers and much funnier yet no less physically bothersome. I’ll take smarter over annoying. Besides, their behavior pays for stuff.


Someday, I might submit my thesis to those parenting magazines who would benefit most.

You all are looking at your children very closely now, aren’t you?