What a Mom Has to Do to Take a Shower

Before becoming a mom, I’d like to think that my hygenie habits were fairly good. I’d skip a shower maybe for a day but I kept myself pretty clean. When I was working my last job, I had to shower daily, if not twice a day, since I was around coffee all day. Everything smelled of coffee–it’s not as great as it sounds.

Then the first child came. At first, it was interesting. I would put the baby a few feet away sleeping and I would take the quickest shower known to man. There was no shaving involved unless my hubs was home. Most weeks, I was a Sasquatch. I’d get into the habit of taking all my showers at night. After a while, it was all part of my mommy routine.

Then the second child came.

Since then, it’s been a crapshoot. I either get a shower that lasts two minutes with soap still in my hair or I get one that last 20 minutes because they decide to join me, fully clothed.

My most recent one went something like this:

MOMMY! MOOOOOMMMMMMY, WHERE ARE YOU?

…(not speaking)…

MOM! Are you washing?

yes, honey…mommy’s is trying to take a shower. please go play.

But Hallie threw her toy at me and I don’t want to play with her right now.

Well, I’m sorry. I need to finish up and you need to be a big boy and play nicely. Tell Hallie that you don’t like it when she throws.

She doesn’t listen to me. Can you go tell her?

Nope.

Why, mommy?

Because I’m going to finish my shower.

LOUD NOISE-BANG-CRYING.

I’ll go check her, mommy.

…me, grabbing my towel…

Even if my husband is home, this seems to always happen. I can tell them that I’m taking a shower or I can not tell them and sneak off OR I’ve even tried to leave the house and sneak back in and run to the shower.

But they find me. They always find me.

Anyone else got the same problem?