Why We Won’t Share Our Baby’s Name Before the Birth

The two most common questions I’m asked about my pregnancy these days are:

1. When are you due?


2. Have you decided on a name?

The first is easy to answer (6 weeks!!!), but the second requires a little more finesse. See, we’re not baby-name sharers. We’ve heard enough horror stories about couples disclosing their unborn babies’ names only to be met with reactions as subtle as a scrunched nose and an “Oh, that’s…different” to flat-out rejections along the lines of “That is a horrible name and if you choose it I will never call your baby that.” Needless to say, these are situations we want to avoid.

When it comes to picking names for my kids, I really don’t care what anyone else thinks so long as my husband and I both love them. This attitude makes it easy to keep the name options just between the two of us. That said, having found names we LOVE, it’s kind of hard not to share considering we’re so excited about them. And yet, it still feels safer to keep the options to ourselves until the baby is here, we’ve made a final decision, and the name is set in permanent ink on his birth certificate. (Only six more weeks!)

Of course, there are a few downsides to not sharing baby names while there’s still plenty of time to change them, hassle-free. (If you pick a name you don’t love, you CAN change it later, but it’s more of a pain.) It’s up to you to decide if you’re willing to risk these things happening to you:

  • You might miss some name reference that will be obvious to others – for instance, naming your baby after a serial killer from a popular t.v. show you’ve never seen, or giving your child initials that spell something unfortunate.
  • Someone close to you might use your favorite baby name first.
  • People won’t be able to send you gifts personalized with the baby’s name.
  • If you have really opinionated family and friends and you actually care what they think, you might be better off sharing the name with them sooner rather than later so they don’t throw a fit and cause a scene once the baby’s here.

When people ask us if we’ve chosen a name, we usually answer with an obviously fake one or do some other form of polite deflection. So far, everyone has been kind enough to drop the subject, and that’s good enough for me.

Did you/will you share your baby’s name before s/he is born? Any horror stories about sharing the name and having people react poorly?